THE DIARY OF A NOLLYWOOD HUSTLER
Hello! Welcome to my diary. Before I start, I would like to state that every character here is fictional, if it sounds like you, then it is entirely coincidental.
My name is Nicole. I am of above average IQ. In secondary school, I was in the most likely to succeed category. I ruled the art class. The same thing in my university days. I was never interested in movies. I came upon it out of boredom. Thanks to ASUU and its incessant strikes. My youth service was delayed. I was bored and needed to make extra cash. I chased jobs but no one wanted a non- youth corps graduate. I had gone to visit a friend of mine at surulere. As we strolled down the road, we got to a place called Winnie’s and I noticed white papers posted everywhere on doors, electric poles, and gates. Out of curiosity, I went closer and they all said ‘AUDITION! AUDITION! AUDITION! One said ‘DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT’ another ‘ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL?’ They all had date, time and venue on them plus instructions to bring a picture of size 5x7”. I looked for a recent one, copied it down. It was in three days time. I decided to check it out. My friend thought I was joking but I was not. That is where my diary starts.
21st January 2012
I woke up early as normal. I dressed up hurriedly. The notice had said 10 am and it was already past eight. My house was far from Surulere. As I left the house, I could not tell my parents where I was heading. My parents are very strict and they would rather die than have a child that acts. I could not just sit at home all day. Lagos transport service and the constant traffic jams, held me up. I walked into the street at past 10. I was not sure of the address, so I had to keep asking. An old man directed me to the place. When I got there, it was crowded. I met a crowd outside the gates. I entered and I still met a crowd. I could feel people sizing me up, especially the females. I saw some familiar TV faces. In my mind, I was like, ‘what the hell, am I letting myself into?’ I walked down to the table in front and put down my name. It was a kind lady that let me know that. Practically everyone inside was seated, there were no more seats so I stood. I had no one to talk to and no one wanted to talk to me. Standing, I could see everyone, so I opened my eyes and ears. I noticed that everyone belonged to a group. The fine girls sat together, they were classy with flawless makeup and their clothes were fashionable. The known faces had their own clique consisting of the guys and girls. We had the little nerds, they look very young and their dress sense is faulty plus no makeup. There were the wannabes or as I call them, I must make am. Their English was forming at its height. Their clothes were short. Did I mention the fine boys; they are same with the fine girls. We had the mamas, they are married, if you are single do not bother joining. My personal favourites, ‘ do you know how long I have been in this industry?’ they consisted of guys and girls that will mention the name of celebrities they have worked with on a first name basis, their dress sense reminds me of Benin market women, riotous dressing. With Igbo tongue or one tribal tongue, their English is not just up to it. You must respect them. Another group was the complex conscious; they all sit and compare notes on their last jobs. Then finally, you had the loners like me, who were just newcomers to the game.
The audition started at 11. I found out with my ears that the owner of the production company was a female producer, I loved her movies. The names were called according to the attendance list, people were paired, and giving scripts to rehearse and come perform in front of the judges that comprised of a man and two women. I stood, watching people perform their bits; some were good and others terrible. I was petrified at the thought of everyone hearing me perform. Before I knew it, my name was called and I was paired with two women, one from the mama’s clique and the other from the ‘do you know how long I have been in this industry ‘clique. We were handed scripts. We went to a corner to rehearse. I read first and we decided to give it a go. When the lady from the do you know how long clique discovered I was new, she turned herself into a teacher. How she told me to take my lines were utter rubbish but I did not voice it out. I decided to do it the way I felt. I could not help but realise why she never made it. They called our group and we marched forward, we were asked for our names and we performed. It was the usual girl scenario, a girl with a cheating boyfriend with one friend acting the angel and the other the devil giving her advice. I was the devil. In the end, one of the judges called me forward, took my name down on a different sheet and asked me to wait behind. I was happy but at the same time asked myself what waiting behind meant. When some people realized I was asked to wait, you could say some looked at me again and others especially the female folk were envious. At the end of the auditions. They called a list with the names of people that were asked to wait behind and we entered into the office itself. I looked at the others and we were not more than fifty out of the almost three hundred that came for the audition. We were handed scripts and this time we were to appear before the producer herself and her director. I was paired with one of the TV faces. It was our turn, so we entered her office. Thank God, the AC was on. Action! And we did our thing. Then she asked us to swap roles. I was not expecting that but it turned out ok. Then she looked up at us and said. ‘Thank you! We have your details. We will get back to you if you are shortlisted.’ As we left the office, I could not help but notice that the producer was young. I would not mind being like her one day. Before, I forget, I made a new friend today. She took my number and promised to forward audition notices to my phone. She told me that it was the way everyone did it. She is one of the fine girls. I went home, happy as a lark. Let us keep our fingers crossed and see what happens.
Hello! Welcome to my diary. Before I start, I would like to state that every character here is fictional, if it sounds like you, then it is entirely coincidental.
My name is Nicole. I am of above average IQ. In secondary school, I was in the most likely to succeed category. I ruled the art class. The same thing in my university days. I was never interested in movies. I came upon it out of boredom. Thanks to ASUU and its incessant strikes. My youth service was delayed. I was bored and needed to make extra cash. I chased jobs but no one wanted a non- youth corps graduate. I had gone to visit a friend of mine at surulere. As we strolled down the road, we got to a place called Winnie’s and I noticed white papers posted everywhere on doors, electric poles, and gates. Out of curiosity, I went closer and they all said ‘AUDITION! AUDITION! AUDITION! One said ‘DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT’ another ‘ARE YOU BEAUTIFUL?’ They all had date, time and venue on them plus instructions to bring a picture of size 5x7”. I looked for a recent one, copied it down. It was in three days time. I decided to check it out. My friend thought I was joking but I was not. That is where my diary starts.
21st January 2012
I woke up early as normal. I dressed up hurriedly. The notice had said 10 am and it was already past eight. My house was far from Surulere. As I left the house, I could not tell my parents where I was heading. My parents are very strict and they would rather die than have a child that acts. I could not just sit at home all day. Lagos transport service and the constant traffic jams, held me up. I walked into the street at past 10. I was not sure of the address, so I had to keep asking. An old man directed me to the place. When I got there, it was crowded. I met a crowd outside the gates. I entered and I still met a crowd. I could feel people sizing me up, especially the females. I saw some familiar TV faces. In my mind, I was like, ‘what the hell, am I letting myself into?’ I walked down to the table in front and put down my name. It was a kind lady that let me know that. Practically everyone inside was seated, there were no more seats so I stood. I had no one to talk to and no one wanted to talk to me. Standing, I could see everyone, so I opened my eyes and ears. I noticed that everyone belonged to a group. The fine girls sat together, they were classy with flawless makeup and their clothes were fashionable. The known faces had their own clique consisting of the guys and girls. We had the little nerds, they look very young and their dress sense is faulty plus no makeup. There were the wannabes or as I call them, I must make am. Their English was forming at its height. Their clothes were short. Did I mention the fine boys; they are same with the fine girls. We had the mamas, they are married, if you are single do not bother joining. My personal favourites, ‘ do you know how long I have been in this industry?’ they consisted of guys and girls that will mention the name of celebrities they have worked with on a first name basis, their dress sense reminds me of Benin market women, riotous dressing. With Igbo tongue or one tribal tongue, their English is not just up to it. You must respect them. Another group was the complex conscious; they all sit and compare notes on their last jobs. Then finally, you had the loners like me, who were just newcomers to the game.
The audition started at 11. I found out with my ears that the owner of the production company was a female producer, I loved her movies. The names were called according to the attendance list, people were paired, and giving scripts to rehearse and come perform in front of the judges that comprised of a man and two women. I stood, watching people perform their bits; some were good and others terrible. I was petrified at the thought of everyone hearing me perform. Before I knew it, my name was called and I was paired with two women, one from the mama’s clique and the other from the ‘do you know how long I have been in this industry ‘clique. We were handed scripts. We went to a corner to rehearse. I read first and we decided to give it a go. When the lady from the do you know how long clique discovered I was new, she turned herself into a teacher. How she told me to take my lines were utter rubbish but I did not voice it out. I decided to do it the way I felt. I could not help but realise why she never made it. They called our group and we marched forward, we were asked for our names and we performed. It was the usual girl scenario, a girl with a cheating boyfriend with one friend acting the angel and the other the devil giving her advice. I was the devil. In the end, one of the judges called me forward, took my name down on a different sheet and asked me to wait behind. I was happy but at the same time asked myself what waiting behind meant. When some people realized I was asked to wait, you could say some looked at me again and others especially the female folk were envious. At the end of the auditions. They called a list with the names of people that were asked to wait behind and we entered into the office itself. I looked at the others and we were not more than fifty out of the almost three hundred that came for the audition. We were handed scripts and this time we were to appear before the producer herself and her director. I was paired with one of the TV faces. It was our turn, so we entered her office. Thank God, the AC was on. Action! And we did our thing. Then she asked us to swap roles. I was not expecting that but it turned out ok. Then she looked up at us and said. ‘Thank you! We have your details. We will get back to you if you are shortlisted.’ As we left the office, I could not help but notice that the producer was young. I would not mind being like her one day. Before, I forget, I made a new friend today. She took my number and promised to forward audition notices to my phone. She told me that it was the way everyone did it. She is one of the fine girls. I went home, happy as a lark. Let us keep our fingers crossed and see what happens.
